Believe It or Not

What have I got myself into? I can no longer go back for if I do the consequences will be severe as death. I only have myself to blame for this, I should have been more discreet, I shouldn't have at all actually. I knew the danger but yet I did it anyway and now I have no where to go.

There is nothing left.

At least the pirate seems satisfied, I wonder how he would take it if he realizes there is nothing to drink on the ship. Nothing good can come out of making this journey.

I wonder if I will see him again.

Constantly they keep on telling me that I need to rest and recover, when will they learn that I am already fully prepared to set sail at a moments notice but still I am not granted this. At least activity around seems quiet except there is a feeling in my gut that something big is bound to happen soon, the calmness in the eye of the storm, just waiting for it to strike suddenly catching everyone unaware.

For such a position that they have forced upon me with this promotion and not to have my request listened to is condescending. Control your men but have no voice of speech higher up with the actions of them. At times my thoughts lean towards leaving this god forsaken corrupt Navy and all of their lies, I have my doubts on where their true loyalties lie

The loss suffered I have found to be many with that stunt pulled by that Pirate Lord, the concern for the residents of Port Royal is not my concern but the toll on the Navy took it toll. Not only did most of them sent out to fight died in the battle but the only one that came close enough to earn my trust, my Commander, life was taken leaving behind the fate of our ship on my shoulders.

I don't want this positioned that was thrust upon me without my consent, I turned down positions previously because I didn't want them only now to be told that it is my duty to assume command. I am not a leader, I am merely a follower.

No word has yet come from the whereabouts of my brother or if he has been swept up in the whirlwind of the endless battle between the Navy and Pirates, not even the simple message coming from our parent's once again being kicked to the curb without a care that their son could have lost his life. Typical of the Uchiha name, only thinking about their small world and how to fuck people over. I believe Sasuke is in good hands, he is more than capable to take care of himself.

My injuries although said to be healing well still burden me, the phantom pain of that dagger slicing through the layers of skin close to its objective but yet so far away. I rather he done the job properly than this half assed one that I'm left to deal with. No matter what, the pain just doesn't go away.

Today was not the news I was looking for with a letter received from the Commander. Requested personal leave has been denied. Hearing of this brought ill feelings at first but you can not fight against the final ruling of the Royal Navy, not even the most foolish would try a move like that.

This time there is a logical reason behind the rejection, I am to leave for Port Royal ASAP. My call out is already at hand, only finding a few moments of peace before leaving this god forsaken place. No more patrolling the ocean floor, this time it is something more extravagant.

Sitting around only for random duties is boring me as well as being around them all the time. There is no love for this family so why do I keep on returning here when stuck for periods of time? The questions of life that have no answer.

I have requested today to Commander that I am granted some personal time to head out on the sea, if I will come across him again I could not be sure of, but I can't just idly sit around and wait to stumble across the bastards while patrolling the open sea. I must take my own initiative and actively seek them out or else no actions will take place.

Only time will tell now.

Rumors have spread around that a certain individual has some interesting information in regards to the location and activities of a few pirates but how to approach this person is something that is left to be desired. His business alone sounds shady and the willingness to help the Navy in capturing these fugitives is even more perplexing. What would he get out of it all since no one helps others without a price.

And on top of that scuttlebutt is saying that my brother may be up for promotion soon, rising high among the ranks proficiently. I rather find this out in person than listening to the loose lips of some mid ranked seamen.

Word has returned to me that my brother too has enlisted in the Navy. It has been what seems like a thousand moons since I have last seen him but I am indecisive if we should meet again.

Is he the same as he was all those years ago or has he come to loathe me too?

( Private to Self )

The time out on the ocean was not as boring as expected but to let that filthy pirate get away, that was unforgivable but our paths will cross again eventually.

That other... I don't know what to say.

I don't trust some of the others under my temporary command, I will have to keep my eye on them.

The Commander contacted me today, looks like I will be sent back out to sea sooner than expected and even worse, in command of a few men for guard duty. How I despise guard duty even more so with other's relying on me to tell them their every move.

If I wanted this position originally I would have accepted their offer.

...At least it's better than being around here.

No word yet from Commander on when I am returning to sea, it has been two weeks so far of waiting for the message of recall back to the ship. General patrolling is quite a bore so this I do not mind but the waiting around is troubling. I don't want to be here longer than is needed with these walls holding too many antagonistic thoughts.

The talk shared with Shisui was... It was strange in knowing that our lives are different with the paths that we have chosen but it was a welcoming thought to know that at least one family member doesn't harbor ill feelings towards me. That will make him the one and only.

I haven't heard from my brother in a while, maybe that is for the best.